This question stopped my client in her tracks, as she was weighing up whether her decision to leave an organisation was the right one, taken for the right reasons. She defined resilience as being able to cope with a lot of s**t and keep going. It made me wonder about how often we mistake tolerance for resilience and how resilient is too resilient ? Can the idea of not giving up and the capacity to withstand a lot, sometimes keeps us trapped in a place we might have outgrown or that no longer aligns with our values ?

But what if staying on in the situation is depleting you of energy, joy and enthusiasm. Knowing when to walk away for self preservation – could that be a part of resilience? On deeper reflection she arrived at a more nuanced definition of reliance for herself – adaptability, knowing and managing you limits, knowing when to seek and ask for support and help as well as knowing what is important to her.

What is resilience really? The ability to bounce back, recover and return to baseline after setbacks or trials; being able to withstand change. Although it is important for longevity, health and well being often the idea of resilience can keep us focussed on surviving, on fighting, on hanging in there and seeing things through. But if we take it out of the context of surviving and bring it into the context of thriving then what would still be relevant. How would you tell the difference between being resilient and compromising on your values just to survive?